The Risk of People Pleasing: Time to Ditch Nice and Start Standing Up, Speaking Up and Powering Up to Get What You Need

The trouble with being too nice is that you WILL get taken advantage of, and you WILL feel let down, frustrated and downright pissed off. Whether it be a project of yours that gets put on the back-burner, you get passed over for a well-deserved promotion or you feel like you are the starting quarterback on the field with a third-string lineup. All because you are too nice and people know that you are polite, courteous and likely won’t say a word.

Well, I’ve had enough. I pride myself on always bringing my “A-game” to every commitment I agree too. Why? Because to me, you are all in, or not in at all. Now, I am human and have my “human” moments, but without a doubt, I am consistent in my communication. If I am not 100-percent certain of the answer, I will own it, and say, I don’t know the answer right now and I’ll circle around with you once I have a definite solution.

I know the feeling of being passed over for a promotion or a raise, just because my superior knows that I will continue on without a bat of an eyelash to get the job done, just so they can save a buck. All because I’m too nice and too polite.

From a very young age, little girls are taught to be seen, not heard, mind our manners, and be polite little angels. Our female role models demonstrated to us how to get along alone, how to keep the peace, keep our opinions to ourselves, and you must never, EVER complain. Remember the "don't you dare tell your father"?

Honestly, this just has to STOP. I for one, am not going to change who I am. I will continue to be nice and courteous however, I am going to FORCE myself to establish healthy boundaries. Where do I start? First, #StandUp. What I want, it matters. I am going to demand to be around only those who bring their best and strive to become better at their craft every single day.

Next, #SpeakUp. I feel like it is my responsibility to clearly communicate my expectations. This is where I know, I have the opportunity to grow as a business professional. This is WAY out of my conditioned prim and proper upbringing. I know the key to my success is for my voice to be heard. Through careful preparation, I will be able to rehearse my “script”, remove the emotion from the situation and articulate what I am after and why in a way that comes across professional and from a place of authenticity.

Lastly, I will #PowerUp which to me means, I will stand in my truth. Why?  Because I am worth it! We are all worth it!

#SMARTistheNewPerfect is a movement that integrates maintaining our authentic selves with tips and tricks on achieving our professional and lifestyles goals.

Will you join me? Are you ready to get what you want, deserve, and need? I feel like it is my responsibility to support women; because together we are stronger.  I would love for you to join the #SMARTWomensMovement where we lift one another up, learn together, grow together and succeed together. We’ve got this!